I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
