just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
