He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
