We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize