you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
