If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
did i just pee glitter
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
