worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
