why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
