i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
