that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
bring money and cleavage
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
