Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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