and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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