I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
