Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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