it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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