If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
