We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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