im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
