I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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