I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
