he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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