Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
