Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
