How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
