I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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