If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
