32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
