Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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