I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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