Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
