He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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