If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Still dying that you shit outside
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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