yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
