Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Need sex. Gaining weight.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He shit in the fireplace
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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