please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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