jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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