Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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