Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
