Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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