My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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