Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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