chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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