Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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