my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize