I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sorry about my life...
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
