U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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