Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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