The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She's the barista slut.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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