escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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