Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
