he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
