it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
