yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
