super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
