I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
