it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
