This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
